


with joyful ring

by RoamingSignals



Series: Make the Yuletide Gay [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Caroling, M/M, Pre-Relationship, almost confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21850012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoamingSignals/pseuds/RoamingSignals
Summary: There are things about the holidays that Taeil cherishes above all else. The hot chocolate, for one, and all the pumpkin cake he can get. The decorations. The feeling of it all.But more than anything, it's the soft warmth that comes from listening to voices layering over the quiet church pews.
Relationships: Kim Jungwoo/Moon Taeil
Series: Make the Yuletide Gay [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567384
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	with joyful ring

**Author's Note:**

> Hello here is another Christmas fic don't look at me

This is one of Taeil's favorite times. Not the holidays, because the holidays are so broad, and there's too much good and bad to say it's his favorite, but there are things about the holidays that he cherishes above all else. The hot chocolate, for one, and all the pumpkin cake he can get Taeyong to bake for him. The decorations. The feeling of it all.

But more than anything, it's the soft warmth that comes from listening to voices layering over the quiet church pews.

It snowed badly earlier, and there's white piling up on the other side of the stained glass windows. The entire sanctuary smells a bit like must, and the velvet on the benches are worn to the point of dullness, but this place is one of the few quiet places Taeil has been able to find in the city.

Right now, it's rather loud, but Taeil still feels more settled here than he does navigating the streets with package after package, maneuvering around the almost solid aura of the Christmas spirit.

Taeil has truly picked up too many projects this season — between helping Johnny with his upcoming film and singing tracks for Taeyong and doing vocal lessons for the theater show that's swallowing his life — but when his old teacher asked him if he wanted to lead the carolers again this year, he didn't even think about saying no.

"I know you're busy. Please don't stress yourself," Mrs. Cottey told him, old and shaking with jingle bells hanging from her ears, the same ones she's been wearing for the past ten years since Taeil met her. "But I know how much you love it."

He's glad she asked. He'd almost forgotten about it this year, in the bustle of everything.

There are so many reasons that Taeil went into teaching, and it's not for the benefits, or the pay, or the ease of life. There's something so satisfying about taking something you're passionate about and giving that passion to someone else. Taeil thinks it sounds too sappy in his head, so he would never say it aloud (much less when Ten or Yuta could hear and tease him for it).

In that way, organizing the community carolers is more rewarding than the lessons he gives the big names during the rest of the week — anyone can join, and no one is here to outshine anyone else, and everyone loves the music of it. Professionals have a certain flavor, but it's not always so good-natured, even if the teaching isn't as easy when working with volunteers ages sixteen through sixty three.

There are some exceptions; Donghyuck, for example, is basically a professional singer, and enjoys the shine that comes with showing off every once in a while. But he's a good kid, and seeing him help the tenor next to him with the music almost makes up for the havoc Donghyuck wreaks on Taeil's private life.

Only one other caroler, a woman named Wendy who is starring in one of the shows Taeil works on, could really be considered a professional, but there's a lot of good tone in the group this year. Harriet never controls her vibrato, and never has in the six years Taeil has run this group, but Andre has a sweet voice and Mitch can run the entire bass line by himself. Even Charlotte, who can't read music or hear anything for the life of them, does alright when Taeil sits them down and runs through the melody note by note.

There are no stakes in Christmas caroling — it's just the love of it. Seeing these people get together after work or school, all dressed in red and green and carrying their music like it's precious, that's such a gift. They're excited to be there. It makes Taeil excited, even with the stress of it all.

And they bring an easy atmosphere, most days. It's what Taeil needs more than anything.

Taeil has been talking Mark down from the ledge his masters has put him on for the past two months, and Taeyong's breakup had happened, and now he has to pick Yuta up from the airport unexpectedly, and having to suddenly rerecord demos last week had drained Taeil of everything he had left. He's so tired.

"Mr. Moon?" someone asks, and it pulls Taeil back into the present.

"Uh," he replies. "Wow. Sorry."

There's a ripple of laughter, gentle, and Taeil slaps himself in the face a time or two before looking for the person who'd caught his attention.

It's Jungwoo, because of course it's Jungwoo. "I was just wondering what time we were meeting for caroling on Friday."

The question is grounded, even though sometimes Jungwoo is so soft-spoken he's difficult to hear. "Anyone who can attend should show up at five," Taeil says, looking at the notes on his music stand. He'd meant to mention it beforehand. He hopes someone tells Janet, who left early because of an appointment. He'll text her. "No mistletoe this time, guys. That was awkward for all of us."

Donghyuck snorts.

Jungwoo sinks a little in his seat. "Okay, thank you."

Taeil smiles at him, a little tiredly. "No problem. Let's work on _32 Feet_ , before I fall asleep at my podium."

This is Jungwoo's first year with the choir, having joined the community choir Mrs. Cottey runs during the rest of the year last February. He clung to Donghyuck at first, but Donghyuck isn't a staple, his schedule erratic and as such so his attendance, and then he'd clung to Taeil, who also sings tenor in the choir.

Taeil's schedule is also erratic, but he likes remembering where he came from. He hadn't been able to attend as much during the second half of the year, but he won't pretend he doesn't remember the way Jungwoo's eyes lit up when Taeil showed up to direct at the first Christmas rehearsal.

"Donghyuck made it, too," Taeil told him while they were both filling their water bottles. "All of your favorite people."

"I like you more than Donghyuck," Jungwoo had replied, fairly casually, before turning on his heels and walking towards his riser.

Jungwoo had carried on, but Taeil still thinks about it sometimes. Donghyuck would go ballistic if he knew.

Some days Jungwoo barely says two words, and other days Taeil has to get on him for chatting too much, and it waxes and wanes and the weeks roll on. Still, he always has a good attitude, and he always spares a hello for Taeil, even when Taeil knows it's been a hard day.

Recently, though, he's been very quiet.

Taeil noticed it as soon as it started, but he's too awkward to approach Jungwoo about something that seems personal, and Jungwoo hasn't taken the steps to talk to Taeil about it either.

Anxiety is something really personal, and Taeil knows that much because he's dealt with it himself. He knows that Jungwoo's bad days can get really bad, because Jungwoo has called him on the bad days, using the number Taeil purposefully puts on his beginning-of-season paperwork, and cried into the receiver until he's better, and then he hangs up and never mentions it again.

Jungwoo has the strange feeling of somewhere hard to pin down. Not flighty, but almost ephemeral, like he's never rooted down but he's always hanging there, just outside, waiting to be caught.

Waiting, maybe, is the feeling that Jungwoo gives off more than anything.

The rest of rehearsal is easy to wrap up. They're well into the season, and they've done plenty of schedules, and everyone is ready to head home and start planning their Christmas affairs. Donghyuck mentioned having to do last minute shopping and gathers his stuff up in a huff as soon as Taeil dismisses everyone.

Jungwoo normally heads out with Donghyuck at whatever pace his friend sets, but tonight the only time they see each other after rehearsal is a very passionate whispered discussion while Donghyuck fishes his shoes out from beneath the front pew. Donghyuck looks at Taeil rather frantically, and Taeil tries not to think much of it.

Taeil waves goodbye to Mr. Jensen as he makes his way out, dancing and singing a little tune that sounds almost like the one they'd just finished practicing, and Taeil watches him go fondly. He checks the time. Yuta is landing in an hour or so. Taeil wonders if he'll be able to close everything up and get to the airport in time.

Whatever. Yuta sprung this on him literally yesterday — he can wait a few minutes.

Taeil isn't even paying attention to anything. He collects his papers and makes notes on his music, trying to cram something else into the margins, and he waves and smiles and says goodbye, and he doesn't really get moving until he realizes there's no more chatter in the sanctuary. He needs to check all the windows and make sure nothing was left behind before he heads out. One of the sopranos is notorious for always leaving her empty cups by the stage and Taeil has been going out of his mind trying to figure out who it is.

He sighs, heavy, and it echoes, and then he turns around the face the night.

Jungwoo is still there, sitting on the front pew.

Taeil startles, and Jungwoo also startles, having been focused so completely on chewing the sides of his nails, but the soft sound he makes can be heard even as Taeil makes his way off the stage. "Sorry! You scared me," he says, music binder under his arm and hand in the pocket of his jacket.

"Ah, sorry." Jungwoo runs a hand through his hair. He dyed it blonde not long ago. The tips looks quite ruined, but it's a good color on him, makes him look soft and angelic. It suits him, suits his voice. "I was just...waiting."

Taeil supposes that's not out of character. He smiles. Jungwoo brings that out in people. "Do you need anything, Woo?"

Jungwoo blinks at him. "No." He tilts his head to the side. "Just want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I don't think I'll be able to make it to the program next week."

"Oh." Taeil won't say he's not disappointed. Jungwoo has a good voice and a beautiful energy. He's something special in most ways that matter. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"I thought I could make it but…" Jungwoo purses his lips. "I'm not sure I'll be able to. So I wanted to make sure I could say Merry Christmas."

It's a tender gesture. Taeil is rather touched. "I'm...thank you." He coughs, swallows down the lump in his throat. "I hope this won't be the last time I see you?"

Jungwoo holds his breath for a beat too long. "I…Well." He smiles, sweet, but it's tight around the edges. "I hope not." He stands up, fabric of his sweater rustling, and he bends to gather his things from the bench beside him.

There's a small box beside him, wrapped in tinsel to within an inch of its life. Jungwoo picks it up slowly and holds it out to Taeil. "Would you...ah. Sorry." He pats his cheek until it's red, but Taeil realizes it was already a bit pink beforehand. "Would you like some?"

"What is it?" Taeil asks, but he takes the container anyway. Something in his chest is undeniably moved.

"It's gingerbread." Jungwoo waits hesitantly while Taeil opens the container and sees the misshapen cookies. Jungwoo is grinning, laughing at himself. "I...am a disaster. Donghyuck helped me, so they taste good but...they were supposed to be men. Now they're gingerbread plates."

Taeil is laughing as he picks one up, smiles at the lumpy face piped on carefully in icing and sugar. "It's so cute." He takes a bite, and it's only a bit dry. "It's good. You did well."

"You can have them." Jungwoo pushes the container forward. "I made them for you."

"Oh." He holds the box to his chest. Powdered sugar gets on his jacket. "Thank you." It's sweet.

"I know you've been really stressed recently," Jungwoo continues, and here he seems steady. His expression is so kind. "Your demos went well?"

"Second time, yes." The sound Taeil makes is meant to be bitter but comes out almost disbelieving. "I didn't realize I'd brought that into rehearsals. I'm sorry if I worried you."

"I don't think anyone else noticed," Jungwoo assures him, biting his lip. "I just pay a lot of attention to you, you know?" He brushes Taeil's arm gently, with careful fingers. "I like paying attention to you."

Taeil isn't expecting the way that takes his breath away. "Oh." He brings the cookie up to his mouth and doesn't take a bite. Waiting.

Both of them, always waiting.

They both open their mouths to say something, and they both pitter off. Taeil clears his throat. "I'm...ah, that means a lot to me. I've really enjoyed seeing you in rehearsals this year." He adjusts his collar, hands jittery. "Are you going to still be in the community choir next year?"

Jungwoo wrinkles his nose. "I don't know." He sounds disappointed, hesitant, and his eyes flicker up from the floor to peer almost piercingly at Taeil's face. "I think I'd like to hang around."

What's happening to him? All his stress has culminated in this moment, something that isn't heavy but is instead pointed and focused like a laser beam. "I really hope you do." The words are thick in Taeil's throat.

The smile Jungwoo grows is worth it. "Good."

There's a moment, a hanging moment that should be electric but instead melts into the floorboards, covers everything warmly, like there is no other way to be. Taeil's hands grip the box with white-knuckles, and Jungwoo puts his backpack higher up on his shoulder.

A step, the sharp sound of Jungwoo's heeled shoes on the wooden floor, and Jungwoo's hand is wrapped around Taeil's arm, a loose hold, and then a dry kiss is pressed against Taeil's cheek.

Jungwoo is shining. "Merry Christmas," he whispers, in that sweet voice. He starts saying something else, something that might ruin Taeil's carefully held composure, but he thinks better of it. Taeil isn't certain whether he's grateful. "I should go."

"Okay." Taeil swallows, still thick. He watches Jungwoo walk down the aisle like a statue, brimming over like water boiling. "Merry Christmas, Woo." It rings out, a chamber choir on its own, seven part harmony.

Jungwoo looks over his shoulder on his way out. "Take care of yourself, hmm?" He leans his head against the door jamb, gentle, beaming, bright. "Or I'll be angry."

Taeil laughs. "I'd like to see that." Warm from the inside.

"Check in, from time to time, okay?" Jungwoo is on his way out the door. "Eat well. Happy holidays." A moment. "Goodbye."

The door shuts behind him with a click.

Taeil takes the moment to pick his thoughts up off the floor.

"What am I doing?" he asks Ugly Baby Jesus, emblazoned on the half-frozen glass window in blues and white. His heart hammers.

The alarm on his phone rings mercilessly, breaking the haze that covers everything, and Taeil fumbles to grab his keys and his bag and his binder and his box, and hurries out the door with promises to keep — one to Yuta, and one to Jungwoo, to take care.

**Author's Note:**

> :)


End file.
